“Meet Erik. He’s 30, got a good job, a great flat, a steady relationship and a wide group of friends. So you might not think it to look at him, but Erik also has a mental health problem. Eight years ago he was diagnosed with severe depression. This video explores the reaction he experienced after posting on dating sites and flatsharing sites, explaining only through a second email that he has a mental health problem.”

My first reaction to this video was one of enthusiasm since I have faced similar difficulties when making friends or apartment hunting. It’s great that there’s someone who is willing to share his experience of stigma in such encounters. In watching it a second time, however, I feel like Erik could have done things differently and received a better outcome as a result.

In emailing people and telling them, “By the way, I have a mental illness” it sounds like he himself is a bit concerned about the potential relationship and that he wants to warn the other person. I suppose giving limited information about his mental illness was part of the experiment but if people aren’t told any more details they have to fill in the blanks and guess at what he means by that.

I wonder what the difference would be in Erik applying for a job and revealing he has a mental illness, because living with a stranger and/or going on a date with someone new does put one in a vulnerable place to begin with. If someone’s mental illness does not affect their day to day life in a profound way, why mention it right off the bat? If I received an email from a potential roommate that said, “By the way, I have asthma. I wanted you to know that” I would assume that their life is profoundly affected by it in a negative way.

When my depression and anxiety are bad, I make a mess of my apartment and can’t clean it up. At times I’ve been too sick to work and have relied upon government assistance to pay my bills. These are very real by-products of my illnesses and as a result I don’t think would have been the ideal roommate for a stranger at those times. Dating is still too much for me to handle along with the rest of my life. It’s unfair to make assumptions that a person’s weariness about sharing a place or dating someone mentally ill is about stigma only. It’s realistic given how debilitating mental illnesses can be.

Stigma surrounding mental illness is not like racism, where there truly is no reason to judge a person and it’s downright ridiculous to do so. I am in favour of more education surrounding mental illness and keeping open communication with those dealing with it. I would feel comfortable and respected if someone were to ask me how my mental illness affects my life instead of just assuming I’m as functional as any other person. The word “illness” does mean that something is wrong. I find it offensive when people don’t consider my mental illness to be a negative thing because it has truly affected my quality of life. While not all people “suffer” from mental illness, I have suffered a lot. I want that to matter and not be overlooked.

When people are open about their mental illnesses, ask questions! Keep an open mind and don’t expect yourself to understand completely something that you haven’t experienced personally. I think Erik had the right idea in doing this experiment, but if he’s comfortable enough revealing that he has a mental illness he should commit to helping others understand just what that means when it comes to his life and those in it.

By Erin