This is a monumental day for me. Why? I brought an apple to work as a snack. So what? Up until three days ago I hadn't had an apple in two and a half years! I had really really bad digestion as a result of stress and it's taken me that long to get it somewhat better.

In May of 2008 I got the flu and a week later my symptoms had subsided but my stomach stayed really sensitive. It felt like its skin was raw, like it had been scraped against the sidewalk. I went to the doctor and was put on medication but it didn't help. I went to an acupuncturist but it didn't help. Anyone I talked to was completely stumped so I was sent to the hospital to have an endoscopy done and they still couldn't find out what was wrong. I was told it was probably stress but since I was already in therapy and on antidepressants I didn't know what to do.

My diet dwindled down to that of an elderly person or a baby. Anything but bland and boring food made my stomach so upset that I had to go to bed for the rest of the day. It sucked! I couldn't eat raw fruits or vegetables, anything with tomatoes in it (cooked or raw), no pop or juice or caffeinated drinks. My diet consisted of bread, white meat, milk products, and tea.

Eventually I was getting treatment for having post-traumatic stress disorder and someone told me that poor digestion and headaches (I have those too – yay) are classic signs of post-traumatic stress. While in treatment I asked any professional I could about what to do and they didn't know. FINALLY someone told me that they did hypnosis and that might be able to help. I'd never been able to do meditation or anything like that in a room of other people so I had little faith that it would work. That said, I was so tired of having to eat shitty food while those around me ate normal food that I would have dressed as a carrot for a month if it would've helped! Obviously, I was ready to try anything.

Up until then, when I thought about hypnosis, I thought of people being on stage and being told that they were "getting sleepy." Then they'd do ridiculous stuff in front of tons of people that they would never do ordinarily. The specialist who recommended I try it with her told me that it wasn't like that at all and that anyone under hypnosis is in complete control of their actions. The key part of what makes hypnosis work is that it helps you get as relaxed as possible so that messages can be channeled to your subconscious without your normal self-talk getting in the way. For example, some people do hypnosis to help them stop smoking. During their conscious day-to-day life they would hear that smoking is bad for them and that they should stop, but automatically they might think, "Yeah, but it helps me relax and I really like it. Plus quitting would be so difficult and I'm not up to that." When they are under hypnosis, those thoughts would be much quieter or not even there at all.

So, I gave self-hypnosis a shot. I bought a book off of Amazon.com called Self-Hypnosis: The Complete Guide to Better Health and Self-change by Brian Alman and Peter Lambrou and it helped me make my own recordings using imagery that works for me. I could then listen to my recordings of my own voice saying things in a way that makes sense. I visualized my muscles relaxing like a rope unraveling and remembered the first time I ate a fresh tomato like an apple because I was so hungry and how satisfying it was.

Each self-hypnosis session takes about twenty minutes and I get better at it every time I do it. What's really cool is that I use it for other things besides my stomach problems. I love to do art but sometimes I get so self-conscious that I can't even pick up a pencil crayon without telling myself that my work is no good. So I made a self hypnosis tape for that where I visualize being in a huge room full of craft supplies where everything is free and I can make a mess and truly let go and have fun.

Self-hypnosis has helped with my stomach and doing my art. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that my body was so tense all the time due to stress and PTSD that it really messed with my digestion. Before learning self-hypnosis I could not relax my body no matter how hard I tried. I'm still pretty hypervigilant but my body is no longer tense 24/7.

I'm done eating my apple now. I had to eat a few tums afterward, so I'm still working on getting my stomach back to where it should be. Having these small gains, however, really are encouraging. I'll be sure to let you know when I can have salsa again!

By Erin