THOSE WHO TALK ABOUT IT, WON’T DO IT.

The number of times I have heard this statement in regards to suicide is appalling. While yes, it’s true that some (and depending on the age group, even the majority) people will threaten suicide as means of attention or use it as a common saying to express extreme distress in a certain situation, the statement that "those who talk about it, won’t actually do it " as a whole is nothing but a myth. It's been proven by research (if you don't believe me look it up) that everyone who has committed suicide has told someone oR given off some kind of sign. They usually will talk about it with someone, and this kind of reaction (even if not a spoken one) does NOTHING but make the person feel more alone. Saying this, or acting this way to a friend who confides suicidal intent to you is not helpful. And, at the risk of sounding bold, I clearly don't understand why anyone would think this is a good idea. Yes, we have all dealt with people who threaten it and don't do it. Yes, believe me it’s frustrating. But would you rather be frustrated or have a dead friend? I realize that many have seen suicide declarations that are fake, and I know the odds of it being serious may not be high... but why take the risk...? If the odds are one in four, are you okay with losing one friend for every 4 people who confide in you and you say... shut up, you won't actually do it? 1 in 10 even? I am guessing not, no one wants to lose a friend by suicide. So if someone acts like the odds are actually 0 to a million, remember that this person could be in real distress, trusting someone with their deepest darkest feelings, reaching out for love or support. And someone takes this opportunity to tell them how annoying they find emo kids?... that really isn't the smartest move. Telling a suicidal person that being suicidal is stupid does not magically make them want to live longer. And if they were faking, they might now actually hurt themselves to prove nay-sayers wrong. While this is twisted, don't get me wrong, it happens.  

Friends I have lost to suicide talked about, made facebook posts about it. And people just ignored them or tried to call their bluff. They were wrong... So please, if someone is suicidal... don't assume they don't mean it. Refer them to someone that can help them, offer to go with them to a therapy office, make a phone call to a crisis line or call the cops to their house (they have plain clothed officers to help in these sorts of situations). If they are bluffing, this usually is the point where they will say "No no that's not necessary, I will be alright I just wanted to speak to someone". Then listen to them... and maybe try to convince them to see a therapist anyways but in a less emergency fashion. If they accept the offer to send a crisis team to their house, you know they weren't bluffing. 

But please don’t make fun of them, or think they aren't serious because of this common myth. This is real life not poker and you don't get any points for calling someone’s bluff, you're better off just playing it safe. 

-Alicia