People often have questions about mental health issues and aren’t sure how to get the answers. Here, Dr. Roger answers questions about issues that matter to you.
It is important to know that we don't do therapy here, or give medical help or specific psychological advice (e.g. should I break up with my boyfriend?).This is a forum where people can ask freely whatever question they have about mental health.
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Q: Hi, ever since I was little I always had this feeling of sadness, always. And as I get older it seems to worsen. Nobody really truely knows about it but me. And the reason of that is I say things in my head first before I say them out loud and when I try to talk about my problems I stumble over my words, and then I act immature which is not how I portray myself in my mind. So people get the idea that I am immature which I am not. But I don't know what to do because I don't want to give my parents (mostly my mother) the burden of knowing how severe my depression is. And it's the only thing I've ever known too. I've re-searched alot of INFO on the internet and I have alot of disorders at least over 5. If I do tell them they'd want me just to see a counseller but that doesn't really help me because my problems are alot deeper then what they could help me with. I'm scared because I want to get professional help but they always talk about how tight their budget can be and professional help is very expensive. I have no idea what to do, I'm scared, afraid and at school I'm looked at as a loner. Please please please help me.

Pessimistic and Self-Diagnosing

A: It sounds like you are not only having some problems with sadness, but you are also pessimistic about getting help. Your pessimism is common because some mental health professionals are very expensive to work with, which is not always an option for many families. However, there are other alternative options to consider. But first, let me discuss your problems with sadness.

I do not know why you have always felt sad, but I do know that it is probably important you seek help at some point. The sooner you can identify and change the causes of your sadness, the better. I would recommend that all people try and avoid making self-diagnoses based on information from the internet. The internet can be useful for gathering information and for helping people learn more about certain problems, assuming the information they get is accurate. However, making a diagnosis can be trickier than you may think, because there are various conditions and rules that professionals must use when conducting assessments. It may seem as though you have one disorder (e.g., Panic Disorder), when in fact you have another (e.g., Social Phobia; Hypochondriasis). Many professionals, including myself, have difficulty at times making diagnostic decisions, and they typically have many years of training and experience. As such, it's usually best to leave the diagnosing to trained professionals.

You stated that you believe your mother will feel burdened if you ask for help. This is a fairly common belief, especially among individuals who are feeling depressed. They assume that talking about problems will push others away, or create too much stress for them. The truth is, talking about your problems all the time could have a negative effect on relationships. However, talking to a good friend or close family member about problems on occasion can be healthy. People often feel better about themselves when they're helpful, and so listening and providing support to a loved one is something that most people would enjoy. In terms of your mother feeling too burdened by your problems, it is important to remember that she is your mother --- she probably wants to know if her children are having problems. However, it is completely your decision about whether to involve your parents. If you cannot afford professional services yourself, there are other options available.

In Canada, psychological services are not covered by provincial health care. However, there are many psychologists employed at hospitals and other various clinics, who offer free services to the public. For example, I work at the First Episode Mood and Anxiety Disorders Program in London, Ontario. We get referrals from doctors in the community, and sometimes directly from potential patients. We then provide treatment at no cost to the person. In order to get referred to these kinds of professionals, you may need to do a little searching. Try contacting CMHA or visiting their website for possible options.

Other options include speaking with a school counselor or phoning Kids Help Phone (KHP) at 1-800-668-6868. KHP is a 24 hour phone line answered by a professional counsellor. Here you can tell your story and figure out what to do next. Also, you can speak with your family doctor who could help refer you to a service in your community.
When you use free services, you are usually placed on a waitlist for a period of weeks to months. However, it is better to receive help eventually, than never at all.

I hope you are able to get the help you need.

Dr. Roger