When I enrolled in my class on stereotypes 4 months ago, I was so excited! Finally, something I can take and apply to the mental health stigma. Even better, the profess researches stereotyping! He will be less likely to stigmatize mental illness

Right?

Wrong. The second day into the class, he shows an example in his slides.  It’s a categorization of the different kinds of emotional unstable people. It branches into two different types, phobias (under which he lists many different kinds of phobias) and sociopath. Under sociopath he lists ; murder, rapist, strangler.  I start fluming. One of my best friend is what lay people call a “sociopath” ( which would actually be called anti social personality disorder).  She doesn’t rape, kill or strangle anybody. She is an environmentally hippy.

So, being as addicted to facebook, I naturally post a status update about this.  Fastest and easiest way for me to communicate my feelings to my friends. 

This is when it gets interesting.  A classmate of mine says, I think you are just making a big deal out of it. 

Really? A big deal?  If someone just told a class full of people that your best friend was a violent individual, I think you’d be pretty ticked off too. Then, I take a moment to realize, this happens all the time. When my TA made an ill favored joke about understanding why Joan Rivers husband committed suicide (he claims it’s because she is mean), people told me I was over reacting. 

What’s going on here? Am I really over reacting?  Or is it that people are just so married to their stigmas that they would rather assume that I was the overly sensitive one and its perfectly okay to say these things?

I believe that it’s important to stand up for what you believe in. If a professor insults you, say something.  They aren’t experts in everything and sometimes, they need that reality check.  Besides, speaking with them provides invaluable insight as to why they did that. And in most cases they will learn for next time.

When friends tell you that you are just over reacting. I think its best to engage them in why they believe so.  Ask them, why do you think that? Do you think it’s okay to over generalize a group of people? To use your authority as a professor in the field of anti-stigma to communicate more stigma? Would it be okay if he was talking about a race like that?  Or how about a gender?  Sexuality? If I don’t say anything, how will he know what he did was wrong or offensive?  How will silence about this benefit me?

Sometimes, you have to have the hard conversations with your friends. Make them think about the automatic beliefs that they hold. Make them realize that there’s stigma around more than just race, or gender.  The it comes with illness as well, especially mental illness. 

Really listen to the answers they give you when you ask the hard questions. Listen to the rationale, but if it really bugs you. Regardless of how big or small, it’s better to let someone know now, instead of growing to resent them later.

Alicia