The topic of mental illness came up in a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Twice. And both times it was apparent to me (and quite shocking) how little people actually know about mental illness and how very real stigma really is!

My friend was telling me about a family she knows at her church, in which the husband has schizophrenia. I won’t go into the details of his paranoid delusions, but will say that his symptoms sound pretty severe. Another member at the church said he had warned the wife years ago, that her husband was schizophrenic and that she should leave him. I was appalled that someone would say that rather than think of or try to find ways to provide some sort of help! Now here’s the kicker – the great advice giver? He’s a doctor!

If the first thing a doctor tells people is to leave those with mental illness rather than provide support and resources, what kind of messages does that send?!? And really, does anyone have the right to tell someone else to leave their relationship or marriage unless they have a good reason to do so, such as if someone is being treated badly, abusively or in danger? Was the doctor suggesting that she would be in danger because her husband is schizophrenic? Sure, let’s not pretend like it’s not possible for someone to become dangerous due to their delusions or hallucinations, but that doesn’t mean that everyone with schizophrenia will automatically be dangerous. And statistically, it’s not mental illness that causes most people to become violent, but drug and/or alcohol use. How about mentioning to him or his wife that medication can help?!? That medication can reduce the symptoms of schizophrenia and can increase daily functioning? How about mentioning that talk therapy in combination with medication can also potentially help? No, “your husband is schizophrenic. Leave him!” is what the doctor said to her. Way to perpetuate stigma!

And yes, I realize he was off duty, it was a social setting and he was talking as a friend, not a doctor. But he should have known better! As a doctor, I would expect him to be more knowledgeable and helpful, rather than judgmental and even potentially harmful. If this is how he feels off duty, how does he feel on duty? And how does he help a schizophrenic patient? This only confirms the larger problem of a flawed health care system that has not yet made mental health a priority. Would a doctor tell someone to leave their husband or wife if they had cancer? Or epilepsy? Or diabetes? I’m only speculating, and may be shocked to find that yes, some tactless doctor does that also, but I’m going to guess that for the most part, that just doesn’t happen. So why is someone being encouraged to leave someone who has a mental illness?

If that wasn’t enough, my friend’s co-worker lost her uncle to suicide a few days ago. She was surprised when I said that he likely suffered from a mental illness, “really?” she asked. When I said “yes, he could’ve been depressed, or struggling with some other mental illness”, she said “oh, I didn’t know you meant depression”. I don’t know why I assumed that mental health information is just common knowledge to everyone. I guess it isn’t. Yes, depression is a mental illness. Men encounter additional stigma attached to mental illness even more so than women do; 80% of all suicides are completed by men. Men are taught that they have to be strong, not have feelings, and if they do, then they should stuff them down. Of course I’m generalizing, and this type of thinking is changing and there are tons of guys who are very well adjusted emotionally – but those that aren’t and that don’t have positive coping skills or are taught that mental illness is embarrassing, tend not to get the help they need.

It’s conversations like these that remind me how important the work that mindyourmind and other anti-stigma and mental health organizations do is.

-by Diana