For most of us, movies offer an escape from our everyday life. Our reality: school, work, homework, deadlines, basketball practice, piano lessons, can at times become, well, boring. Head to watch Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law fight bad guys in 19^th century England, and for 2hrs, we have a break from that everyday stuff. It’s magical, exciting, and you get to eat junk food like nachos and fake cheese (food of choice at the concession).

But what happens when the movie you watch is closer to your reality than you expected?  The movie Crazy/Beautiful with Kirsten Dunst and Jay Hernandez was a jolt into my own reality with depression. Of course, it’s a movie, and it’s Hollywood, and classically, the films of Tinseltown have happy endings.  I’m not THAT obsessed with movies to believe it’s nonfiction. But this story did something profound for me: it offered a sense of hope for my own mental state. I connected with the characters in a way that had me bawling my eyes out, but also believing that even with all my flaws, my illness, maybe I could find some peace with my mother and find a boyfriend who could love with all those flaws.

Ten years have passed since that movie came out. And it’s taken almost that same amount of time to have a similar outcome in my life that Kirsten’s character had in this movie. And, I still bawl my eyes out every time I watch it, because I will always remember what it’s like to be in that place emotionally. But I also think about how far I’ve come with my illness and realize, there’s still more great things to come into my life!

By Kerri