Over the last few weeks I've been less in tune with my Social Media Networks (outside of work that is) than normal, but ironically I now feel a bit more in touch, conversational and oddly enough social.

My beautiful aunt Marija arrived from Europe 6 weeks ago.  I have never really known my aunt all that well, as I think we’ve only spent time together on maybe 3 occasions in the last 20 years or so. But her visit this time has been different, I’m sure a lot has to do with the fact that I’m all grown up and living a completely different lifestyle then I was on her prior visits. But seriously since her arrival the time spent with her has been a non-stop series of conversations. I'm talking about the authentic stuff -- deep, intimate, genuine, meaningful, satisfying, raw, emotional, heartbreaking, intense.

This has given me a long-overdue chance for contemplation. Connecting in meaningful ways with someone makes everything else we deem "social" seem so ... .well, unsocial...or perhaps just a bit insignificant.  In fact, looking at the word "conversation" in social media, you almost wonder whether we've allowed it to become devalued and commoditized. I've managed to build up a fair share of connections, thousands of followers and plenty of reciprocating "link love" over the years. But at times it all feels somewhat superficial. Surely we can't consider all this "social" activity an alternative for real relationship-building.

Social media should be a relationship tool and resource, not a destination. It should expand friendships, not defuse or soften them. Remember, volume doesn't always translate into intimacy. Speed doesn't guarantee meaningful connections. Retweets don't necessarily confer respect. Friending doesn't always signal friendliness.

I’m just starting to feel comfortable from the first social-media wave. In what feels like a blink of an eye, suddenly 550 million users have joined facebook. We turned our head, and Twitter has become a national desire. The entire world's is now our friend. One appealing lure of social media is that it provides easier access to "relationships." A well-executed campaign can suddenly put a hundred-thousand followers on a facebook fan page.

There's yet another level to this overwhelming thought. What we also have here, accompanied by our endless connections, is a failure to communicate and we barely realize it. Meaningful conversations are few and far between.   Few people these days ever look up in public spaces - on planes, on elevators, in restaurants, even while walking down the street. We're continuously looking down or losing ourselves into our wireless devices. Shit, "Throwing a boomerang alone" seems more social.

In fairness, there have been many times that I have been profoundly touched by the love and support from individuals who have left condolences about losing a loved one on facebook.  But in those rare instances where social-media finds an authentic voice, how do we take it to the next level - with real meaning and sustained traction?

Fostering real conversations and real relationship-building with people isn't necessarily difficult. It might be right under our nose. 

But it's very easy to get distracted.

By Brian