So many jokes have been made about this statement, usually about a man staring at a woman inappropriately. However, when I have said it lately it pertains to something else entirely.
I work at a corporate workplace as a co-op student (this is my 3rd work term for those of you who knows what that means) and I love it. This is the first term working in the summer and my first term ever working with a boss who could potentially see my scars (my previous supervisor was blind). I started to notice something strange; people keep staring at my wrist. They look but never ask and they dont think I notice. They start treating me different like I will fall apart if they tell me something harsh, almost walking on egg shells.
This is the first term working in the summer and my first term ever working with a boss who could potentially see my scars
So, I started explaining what had happened to one co-worker who I considered a friend when I caught him staring. I meant to tell him the whole story, to reassure him that everything is fine. I have never seen someone look so uncomfortable so fast. He didnt let me finish and tell him that I attend therapy and that I am doing well before giving me some quick advice (e.g. why dont you just get a hobby?) and brushing me off. They are running like hell from something they refuse to understand. People whom I work with everyday, who I thought were my friends, suddenly speak to me as if I am a child.
One day after work, I had gotten particularly frustrated with this co-worker and walked away from him to head to my apartment. He grabbed my arm and he said. Please dont hurt yourself okay? I am sorry. Ever have one of those moments where you can feel yourself turn that angry red you see in cartoons? Well, that was me. My first reaction was to slap him, but I thought better of it. I decided to ask him if he was interested in actually learning correct methods to helping someone through depression and self harm. To my delight ( and quite honest surprise) he said yes. The next day I emailed him the QPR websites as well as a few other things I had found ( yes mindyourmind.ca was one of them). A few weeks later, he emailed me to apologize and even thanked me.
Now, many of you might be wondering why I dont just cover my scars. To be quite honest, I absolutely refuse. They are a part of me. They remind me of how far I have come and how strong I am now. People still stare, but now I continue to the conversation like I normally would. But now I say Hey my eyes are up here.
Written by Anonymous