I've been drawing since I was very little. I don't even remember how old I was when I started. I used to draw all the time everyday, but lately I've been going through periods where I don't draw because I don't know what to draw, and I don't feel like there is a point to it.

Christmas is coming, and my mood has been pretty erratic. I used to get so excited about Christmas, but ever since I turned 14 I have not felt the same. I still love Christmas anyway.

I get upset or happy really easily, like if somebody insults me, it ruins my whole day, and I won't be able to stop thinking about it for a long time. If somebody compliments me, I get so happy that suddenly everything feels better, and I have a better sense of humor and joke around and laugh about stuff. But it creeps people out, and I end up feeling embarrassed about it. I really hate that I can't be mellow like my sister. She doesn't get depressed, and she doesn't freak out or make a scene. She's not weird like me. I love her so much and I'm so glad she's around, because she always helps me think rationally when I cry or panic.

Over the years I have learned that my mom has the same problem that I have. But she won't admit it, and refuses to see a doctor. I can't put a name on what it is that I have, and I'm really frustrated because of that. I just hate not knowing what's going on in my head and if I'll be okay. I don't think I'll be able to live normally because of my wild emotions and intense fears. I'm scared of a lot of things, and I'm a shut-in because I'm afraid of being seen by kids from school.

My dream is to publish a story, or a compilation of short stories. I really enjoy writing as well, but I don't think I'm very good at it. But I'm better at writing or reading stuff I wrote out loud than I am at talking to a crowd all by myself. I also like to sing and dance when nobody's looking, or read out loud if I'm reading a book that I really enjoy. I used to be in all the talent shows and plays at my school when I was little. But now I get stage fright.

I'm 18 years old and I don't know what's up. But I'm glad that I can share these pencil sketches with you. Thanks for listening.

Emily