it feels like i cant feel
it sounds like i cant speak
from the blood escaping my wrists
and the tears running down my cheeks

I lay down hopelessly
with the knife clenched in my hand
i wish someone only knew
i hoped someone would understand

Its hard to live
when you know your all alone
thinking no one cares
standing on your own

I needed someone to lean on
so i wouldn’t fall
but no one was there
so i fell and i crawled

I tried to get up
I tried to stand
I was looking for someone
i was reaching for an invisible hand

But no one ever came
the hand never appeared
so i just gave in
till i disappeared

Into the ground
the prison of my pain
i had so much to lose
and nothing to gain

They made me feel worthless
like i had no cause
like i was a mistake
engulfed in my flaws

Some claimed they loved me
but it was just another lie
i use the same freakin one
but if i loved me.. i wouldn’t want to die

I wouldn’t want to smoke
i wouldn’t want to cut
i wouldn’t want to drink
i wouldn’t be so shut

Why didn’t anyone help me
why couldn’t they care
why didn’t they pick me up
and lead me from my mocking despair

Its not like they couldn’t see me
shattering at their feet
as they stepped over me, on me
my body once again feels the pleasant heat

From that friendly blade
its familiar haunting touch
as it dances across my skin
erasing away so much

Its amazing how much pain
is in one little drop
as it rushes to leave me
i pray it never stops

It doesn’t restrain
and i like it better that way
if i could just stop thinking
then maybe the pain could finally go away

i saw them all watching
thru the hollow mists
while yet another salty tear
is stinging at my open wrists

Not one came to help
they seemed to disappear
i start to cry out
but nobody wants to hear

i told you i was ok
and of course it was true
it was carved into my hand
as a lasting promise to you

If you saw me before
you saw me trying to hide
i felt no more happiness
it felt like my heart had died

I hated the world
i hated my life
i hated the anguish
i hated that knife

I only loved others
they had an actual purpose
although i never may have been
i must have been useless

I had so much anger
anger for me
that day i kept punching that glass
or jumped from my roof.. almost breaking my knee

I wasn’t a poser
this wasn’t a trend
i didn’t do it for sympathy
or to make a new friend

Not like they woulda cared
just like all the rest
i wouldn’t want them to know anyway
that i was really so depressed

I made it out of the hole
i was finally free
lying in my bedroom
they could finally see

What i have been hiding
every last scar
they probably thought it was funny
that i made it this far

Thank You for Helping Me
get thru this mess
Thank You for defeating me
You are.. the best

Kelsey, 16
Florida, United States