Things have not been going very well for me...
I hide under a smile, But I feel as though i'm never good enough for anyone. I've tried really hard to be, but it was never enough. I feel myself almost losing it. Losing control. Almost everyday for the past couple of weeks i've cried myself to sleep, or at some point in the day. I'm tired of never getting a good's night sleep. I feel as though everyone is critisizing me for everything and anything. Im trying my hardest okay? I really, really am trying. I'm losing my patience, little things bother me. I'm never very hungry. I have constant head aches. I honestly take things to heart. Everything that has been said has only left dents. I have cut myself, to be exact three times... the scars are just a awful reminder of things. It's harder and harder to keep my "smile" plasetered on my face... and yet I say "im fine".
Most buy it, except for my best friend. He said he was worried about me. He's the only one who knows how I feel. He said he was worried, he never see's hapiness in my eyes, he said he knows I fake the smiles. He told me that he thinks Im depressed. He said he would try to make me happy, but that I should maybe talk to a profesional... but I would have to tell my parents, and I dont want to.
I just feel kind off lost. I try to make everyone happy. I try hard to be organized, and to do well in school. Because I need to do well to live up to expectations. Im worried because I dont want to worry my best friend, were like brother and sister, and he's determined to help me, but I dont know what to do. I dont want him to worry about me. I just want things to be ok, or for it all to stop.
- by whileitsraining, age 15
A note from mindyourmind: depression can be treated with proper assessment and treatment. It is important to speak to a doctor if experiencing depression or depresive symptoms. By reaching out for help, getting better is possible. You deserve to feel better. For more info on ways to reach out ang get help, visit the Help section.