"I have searched, in vain, for many years, for a book that would in some way reassure me that I wasn't alone. I have never met another self-injurer and hoped to find something that would help me to understand why I am the way I am." - Vanessa Vega, author,“Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light: A Memoir of Cutting, Healing, and Hope"

This memoir is an exploration of self-injury and eating disorders through one woman's non-fiction account of her lifelong battle with "cutting" and anorexia.

The author, Vanessa Vega, began self-harming as a small child. "Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light" is a raw, graphic, and sometimes chilling exploration of Vega's struggles. More importantly, the book is a story of hope for others who grapple with the same disorders.

Vega shares several of her intense therapy sessions, both group and individual, that finally initiated her recovery process after a 30-year battle.

What made you decide to write this book after so many years of struggling with self-harm?

I have searched, in vain, for many years, for a book that would in some way reassure me that I wasn't alone. I have never met another self-injurer and hoped to find something that would help me to understand why I am the way I am. I never thought I would ever write about my greatest secret, but as I concluded my therapy process, I realized that the knowledge I had gained was so important, that it might help other people if I were courageous enough to share it. In the beginning, there wasn't a book. There was a series of writings that I had done for myself and my therapist only. As the writingsincreased, this idea of writing a book to help others slowly took shape. I am finally at a place emotionally where I am no longer ashamed of the journey I've taken towards healing. This book is a testament to this fact.

What do you hope this book will accomplish? Do you have any goals set out for it?

This book was released internationally. As a result, I have heard from people worldwide who have said that elements of my story reflect part of their own. This is incredibly humbling, as I always believed that I was the only one in the world who would ever do some of the things that I have. As the book continues to circulate, I hope it succeeds in tearing away the veil of shame that exists for this disorder. I hope that the millions of people who still struggle with self-injury will realize that they are not alone and there is help available for them. It sounds trite, but it is true. If I help one person to overcome their urges and get the help they need, then sharing my story will have been worth it.

Coming out with this book was definitely a huge and courageous move for you. Do you feel that it's served as some sort of self-therapy for you?

For the first time ever, so many of the thoughts and feelings I have carried within me, are now out in a tangible form. As a result, much of their power is taken away. In writing this book, I was forced to re-visit some very painful events of my past. Re-living them as an adult has allowed me to work through many of the emotions those events represented. To expunge those things from my spirit has been very theraputic for me emotionally.

After reading some book reviews and biographies, it appears as though you had quite a demanding childhood (i.e. dealing with pressures from your parents and younger siblings, living through your parents' divorce and mother's ill-health, etc). What do you think triggered you to self-harm?

I discovered self-injury by accident. As early as 4 years old, I would pick mosquito bites until they bled, chew my nails off into the quick, pull my hair out, etc. as a way to deal with mounting frustration and anger. I was not allowed to express those feelings verbally, and so I did other things to take my mind off of the feelings. I learned very quickly that if my mind was focused on physical pain, then it was no longer focused on the emotional pain, and over time, those feelings would fade away.

Who or what had the biggest impact on your life? What made you want to turn your life around and get better?

Second only to my parents, my teachers had the greatest impact on my life. School was my one "safe" place. There, I felt a level of accomplishment and acceptance that I rarely felt at home. There was never a time when I wanted to "turn my life around and get better". Instead, I bottomed out. This was such a scary experience for me, that I realized if I didn't get help and start to change my behavior, I could very well kill myself accidentally, and that was never my intention. This reality was the one thing that prompted me to get serious about my recovery.