DAM I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START, I FUCKED UP MAJOR THIS TIME, ABOUT A MONTH AGO I STOPPED TAKIN MY HAPPY PILLS AND I WAS DOING FINE OR SO I THOUGHT, I DONT KNOW IF ITS BACAUSE I STOPPED THE PILLS THAT MADE ME SLIP BUT I DO KNOW THAT I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK ALCHOHOL BECAUSE IT FUELS THE DISIRE TO USE CRACK AND IS USED, I FUCKEN USED AFTER NINE MONTHS OF HARD WORK STAYING CLEAN I FUCKED UP AND USED AND LET EVERYONE INCLUDING MYSELF DOWN NOW I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THEM COZ I CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN AND MYSERY IT SUCKS IT REALLY SUCKS AND I EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ENDING IT ALL AND STOPPING THE MISSERY ONCE AND FOR ALL BUT MY DAUGHTER COMES INTO MY MIND AND I JUST CANT LET HER REMEMBER HER FATHER LIKE THAT AND HEAR STORIES OF HOW HER FATHER WAS A DRUG ADDICT WHO TOOK HIS OWN LIFE WHEN THINGS GOT REALLY BAD I FUCKED BAD BUT I WILL RECOVER AGAIN AND MAKE IT WORK I HAVE TO IM WILLING TO MAKE IT IF I COULD GO FOR NINE MONTHS WITHOUT USING SURELY I CAN GO FOR LONGER AND I WILL AS FOR MY HAPPY PILLS IM STILL NOT TAKING THEM FOR NOW I WAS ON FLOUXITINE (LORIENE) AND I JUST HOPE THAT I WONT NEED THEM OR ITS NOT BECAUSE OF THEM THAT I SLIPPED AND USED AGAIN BUT I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF THE ALCHOHOL WHICH I HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM AND WILL FROM NOW ON IF I DONT WANT A TOTAL RELAPSE OF WHICH I REALLY CANT AFFORD TO HAVE AT ALL.
I WILL BEAT ADDICTION
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