My life was good and I was happy. I had a great wife, had recently bought a house in San Fransico, had a good job with the dream of becoming an entrepreneur one day and a great circle of family and friends.
All of that changed over the course of few months and I began to lose absolutely everything I had. I almost died, I decided that my life was not worth living and had occasional thoughts of ending my life.
Only one thing kept me from destroying myself, the look on my parent’s faces when they heard that I had left this planet. I couldn’t do that to them, given all the things they had done for me to get me where I am and to be the person I am today.
I spent around $10,000 on counseling trying to bring my wife back into my life. She had moved out, and wouldn’t talk to me unless we were at a counseling office with a third person moderating. Eventually I gave up and stopped pursuing her.
We had to split everything, so we sold the house. It was my dream house, so consequently I hit a major depression phase and couldn’t stay focused at work anymore so I left my job, too.
I had to let go of all of my stuff because I had rented a tiny room in SF and couldn’t really take them with me. Everything I had went straight to the Goodwill including my tuxedo.
I went from one to zero.
I went from one therapist to another to figure out how to control my emotions and fears. It did help a bit but not a lot.
One of my mentors, burned me a CD with guided meditation. That started to change my life forever. Around that same time I also got my hands on one of OSHO’s books, The Book of Secrets. The book has more than 100 techniques for mediation. I practiced all of them.
I learned how to use my emotions and the feelings that were going on in my mind toward my inner evolution.
I wouldn’t start my day without an hour of guided meditation and wouldn’t go to bed without meditating for at least an hour. I joined all sorts of group meditation events in San Francisco and I learned a lot. During the day, I was trying to figure out how to be fully present with my surroundings and just to monitor my thoughts.
My life began to shift as I learned to observe my thoughts more and more and choose actions to give birth to move positive thoughts and feelings. I meditated long hours every day and I finally figured out my mind. I hacked my mind. I made peace with my past, stopped worrying about the future and managed to keep my mind in the present moment only. I was awakened. I had become a Buddha.
Osho’s meditation techniques using breath are what I still do every day. I also developed my own meditation techniques inspired by Osho’s teachings.
“Happiness is when … what you think , what you say and what you do are in harmony” – Mahatma Gandhi
I began to truly understand what Gandhi means here. My words and thoughts had become one, I had found my center and my actions were not only in harmony but also would give positive feedback to my thoughts and words. Every day, I had fewer and fewer thoughts and more and more observing.
Based on what I have learned, I would add another sentence to Gandhi’s quote, Happiness is when …. you are connected to others and you are compassionate toward them.
I learned that if I label something bad or I am not happy about something, it is because I am not able to comprehend with all that is out there and that I am not seeing the full picture. I have learned that what bothers me holds the key to my growth. I learned that my mind likes to form habits, so I try to do new things every day. I learned that every time I empower others, it helps me grow my personality further. I learned that my ego is my biggest teacher and my biggest enemy at the same time. It’s my enemy because it limits me, it is my teacher because it teaches me something new about myself and what triggers me.
Namaste,
Pouria Mojabi, Founder of Paralign