is it worth it?

I was in 5th grade at the time and I was going through a rough time. At first I didn’t know what I was doing and all I knew is that it helped. I took a kitchen knife and held it to my wrist, the sight of my blood gave me a rush and I felt better. I kept doing it but at first it wasn’t that often, then I started doing it more often and deeper. I always wore sweatshirts and longsleves. When people asked why I would tell them i was cold. I would stop a few months before a doctor’s appointment so no one would know. In 7th grade I started using razor blades and no one still knew. They just asked why I would wear a sweatshirt even in the warm weather. In the spring of 8th grade a friend saw my arm and told a teacher and a lot of other people found out. I didn’t get help until October of this year and my dad actually cares a lot about me. I haven’t cut in a while and I haven’t had suicidal thoughts as much. No one knows how bad it was and for that I am grateful. Talking to a counselor has helped but I don’t tell people when I go because I don’t like talking about it since I have trust issues…Talking does help though…