it hurts to smile
even just for a while.
for i dread my own being,
n they say seeing is believing.
but my eyes have seen such pain,
that i lost all meaning of sane.
ive lost all forgiveness
and drowned any hope of bliss.
someday i hope i’ll understand
what today i CANNOT stand.
i wish i could confront my fears,
but remembering fills my eyes with tears.
for i’ve blocked out many years,
and smashed my reflection in many mirrors.
but if i cant even accept myself
how can i expect that from anyone else?
i want to find me again
even if i only bend
at least im not breaking
and i can stop all this faking
– by madi, age 17