trying

its been a while since i could say im alright
no matter how hard i cant seem to win this fight
ive tried so hard
but ive let down my gaurd
ive given in to my addictions
and lost all my predictions
the need to be anything but me
i cant seem to set free
because i cant control it
or deal with this shit
i cant control who ive become
im no one but who you should shun
my life is my greatest shame
i can no longer tame
the being i wish to hide
is no longer a wave in the tide
but who i am now
fuck a vow
i tried to belive in what is not
but in the lies i got caught
so long ago
i started this show
of doubting myself
and worring bout wealth
but this battles a joke
n i know ill choke
when i try to explain
that i know im sain
but i now longer accept
the person ive crept
to be me
because im not she
for she is a riddle
n i know much but little
about the me in command
but the truths what demand
help me figure out this mess
and help me confess
the troubles i bury
n hope no one will worry