You are here
Being Balanced in Chaos
When we’re hit with uncertainty either suddenly or in large amounts, it can throw us off. We can get frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, discouraged.
This is normal and there’s nothing wrong with it. However, it’s my belief that we can train ourselves to stay more balanced when things get chaotic, stay level-headed and calm, which allows us to become an oasis of sanity that others can rely on.
Let’s talk about how to train ourselves to stay more in balance when things get chaotic.
What Throws Us Off
When we get thrown off, it’s like the rug being pulled out from under us — it feels disconcerting, disorienting, uncomfortable. We don’t like the feeling.
At the core of this rug-pulling is uncertainty. We feel uncertainty and an uncomfortable disorienting feeling when:
- Someone criticizes us
- Someone acts in a way that we don’t like
- We have a lot to do and we aren’t sure if we can do it all
- Things aren’t going the way we hoped
- We don’t succeed at something
- We’re struggling with something
- And so on
Basically, all the things that frustrated, overwhelm, stress and discourage us, are things that cause uncertainty and the feeling of disorientation. We react in ways that are typical for us in particular: maybe you react in anger, maybe you start being harsh on yourself, maybe you shut down or hide.
The result of this is that we feel thrown off, and we can be super stressed or frustrated through a chaotic period in our lives.
How to Stay Balanced
In a sentence: be with everything in your experience, with an attitude of relaxed appreciation.
If you’re sitting outside on a beautiful day, you can be with that experience, and relax with it, fully appreciating it.
If you’re sitting in a rainstorm, you can be with that experience too, with relaxed appreciation.
If during your day you get thrown off and feel overwhelmed or frustrated, this isn’t a problem — be with that feeling, as you would with any experience. You can bring relaxed appreciation to the thunderstorm of your overwhelm or frustration.
If someone is criticizing you or acting in a way that would normally frustrate you, could you be with the experience of them doing that with relaxed appreciation?
If you’re stuck in traffic, or plowing through messages, or in a long meeting, can you be with that experience with relaxed appreciation?
Try it now. Be with this moment fully, with relaxed appreciation. It’s always available to you — it’s wonder at the miracle of this moment. It’s a willingness to be with all experience, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncertain.
It’s finding curiosity and love in each moment, and finding true appreciation for all of life.
Find blogs with relevant and up-to-date info about mental health, society and other youth topics; written by a variety of youth and professional contributors.