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Winter Reflections

Winter is a hard season for many of us. For me, it's always a time of reflection, but also a time of thinking 'there's more I should have done this year'.

Beyond proposals that never came together and grants that were left unapplied for, I feel it in my personal life too. The year draws to an end and there's that annoying voice in the back of my head pushing me to try harder, even when it's not in me. That whispers in my ear that I didn't do enough.

So here's the hard part-- I'm trying to be okay with that.

Yes, I could have worked every waking minute instead of getting pulled into NetFlix marathons or half a dozen new games that left me no more entertained than when I started. I could have cooked more. Could have saved more money. Could have worked out more. Could have, could have, could have.

But after a very long year, I what I managed was alright.

None of us are perfect and none of us do the 'best' thing all the time.

So I'm trying to be confident when I say I spent the night self-caring with a hot bath and hotter tea. I'm giving myself permission to sleep in when the weather gets too cold and chilly, even if it's just ten minutes. I'm prompting myself to ask for help from those around me when things start getting bad, not just when it feels like a crisis. 

So from one flawed human being to another-- be gentle with yourself. This season will pass. The hard times will pass. You don't need to be positive 100% of the time. I think there's a lot of power in accepting that even on the hard days, you are enough.