(This blog was originally published at http://daisiesandbruises.com/2014/12/11/healthination-true-champion-video-depression/ )
A few weeks ago, Jackie, a producer from HealthiNation, flew from New York to film me as a “True Champion” of depression. For three days Jackie filmed my life. Chris from Toronto came up for one day to film the main interview while Jackie asked me questions.
Then they each went home and I’ve lived frozen in fear, literally sick to my stomach thinking about how much of myself I’d exposed. I didn’t regret doing any of the filming or saying any of the things I’d said on camera. I just knew that I’d revealed my vulnerable self and left it in the care of someone else.
I tried to write about the experience on here but I couldn’t, I was just so tense. I had migraines every day and ugh, the past few weeks have been awful.
Anyway, Jackie texted me tonight to tell me that the videos were live on their site. With fear I opened up the webpage and pressed play.
Halfway into the first video I started crying. By the end of the last video I was bawling.
I’m still overcome with emotion. I’ve never felt this way before.
I feel so unbelievably honoured.
I feel like the whole of my self has been captured in a way more beautiful than I could ever imagine.
I’ve never been so fucking grateful in my life.
I swear to God, I’ve never seen my strength before. I’ve never seen my courage. Not once, not like this. I’ve never seen myself as a real person like this.
I am so scared and relieved…shit. These are the daisies from Daisies and Bruises. I’m holding them in my hands. THEY’RE REAL. Oh my God, they’re fucking real.
CLICK HERE to watch the videos. Then please come back and tell me what you think. :)
I will blog as soon as I can. I can’t believe the power of this. I’m reeling. I’m feeling. ALL DAISIES.