How to Talk to a Therapist

One simple reason to go to therapy is that it helps to be listened to. Sometimes it helps just to talk to someone whose job is to listen and support you. A therapist can help you understand your feelings, notice patterns in your thoughts or behaviours, and work with you to find healthier ways of coping.

Talking to a therapist or psychotherapist will often provide treatment that is more long-term than counselling and address personal issues on a deeper level. This may include:

• Looking at long-standing patterns of behaviour
• Talking about childhood causes of current problems
• Understanding how past experiences influence your current thoughts and feelings
• An intensive attempt to understand and alter thinking, feeling or behaviour patterns

People who might benefit from seeing a therapist include:

• someone dealing with a severe mental illness, such as depression or an anxiety disorder
• someone who has experienced something traumatic, such as violence or rape
• someone who wants to improve and gain a deeper understanding of relationships in their lives
• someone feeling overwhelmed by school, work, or life transitions
• someone who wants support managing stress, identity questions, or big life changes

You don’t need to be in crisis to go to therapy. Many people choose therapy simply because they want support, perspective, or someone to talk to.

In Canada, you may be able to access therapy through a family doctor, community mental health programs, campus counselling services, or private therapists such as psychologists, registered psychotherapists, or clinical social workers.

Therapy, often called psychotherapy, is offered in a variety of methods and settings. At its core, therapy is a guided conversation where you and a trained mental health professional work together to better understand what you’re experiencing and explore ways to move forward.

Therapy sessions usually involve talking, reflection, and sometimes learning new tools or strategies to manage stress, emotions, and relationships.

What are the Different Types of Therapy?

Therapists may work in individual, group, family or couples therapy. They may also work with specific issues, such as eating disorders, addictions or anxiety. Many therapists have their own offices, but others also work in agencies in the community or in hospitals.

Common therapy formats include:

• Individual Therapy: One-on-one conversations with a therapist
• Group Therapy: Sessions with others who may be experiencing similar challenges
• Family Therapy: Therapy that focuses on improving communication and relationships within families
• Couples Therapy: Therapy designed to support romantic relationships

The format that works best depends on your needs and the type of support you’re looking for.

Who Can Be a Therapist?

A therapist is usually a licensed mental health professional who has specialized education and training in psychotherapy. Professionals who may provide therapy include:

• Psychologists
• Registered psychotherapists
• Clinical social workers
• Psychiatrists (medical doctors who specialize in mental health)

Different provinces in Canada have different professional titles and licensing rules, but these professionals all receive training to help people improve their mental health and well-being.

What are the Different Approaches to Therapy?

Therapy comes in many forms, meaning that a professional may use one set of techniques over another when working with a person. Techniques include the way a therapist may ask you questions, or the focus your conversation will take. Usually this depends on the person’s needs.

Some common therapy approaches include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Focuses on understanding and changing unhelpful thinking patterns
• Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores how past experiences influence present emotions and behaviour
• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): Helps people develop skills for managing intense emotions
• Solution-Focused Therapy: Focuses on goals and practical steps for moving forward

As with counsellors, it’s important to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist. On your first visit, ask your therapist about the working style and approach they use.

Research summarized by organizations such as the Canadian Mental Health Association shows that many people experience meaningful improvements in their mental health after participating in therapy. It has been found that 87% of people who reported feeling “very poor” and 92% of those who said they felt “fairly poor” before therapy showed clear improvements by the end of treatment, and that improvement was long lasting. People often report reduced anxiety, improved mood, better relationships, and stronger coping skills after working with a therapist.

Therapy offers many benefits that can improve your mental and emotional well-being. Benefits include improvements in:

• Self-awareness
• Self-esteem
• Confidence
• Communication
• Relationships with others

It has also been found to lower anxiety levels and improve mood. For many people, therapy also helps them feel more understood, less alone, and better equipped to deal with life’s challenges.

Therapy also provides valuable coping strategies to manage mental health challenges more effectively. It can be especially beneficial for those healing from trauma or dealing with major life transitions. Over time, the skills and insights gained in therapy can lead to lasting positive changes, giving you the tools to handle life’s challenges with greater confidence and clarity.

Starting a conversation with a therapist can feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, and that’s completely normal. Many people worry about saying the “right” thing or wonder where to begin. The truth is that there’s no perfect way to start.

Therapy is simply a conversation about what’s going on in your life. Your therapist is there to listen, ask questions, and help guide the discussion. Try talking about what led you to therapy or what’s been on your mind recently. Sometimes, it helps to mention how you’re feeling about the process itself—whether you’re feeling nervous, unsure, or unsure of what to expect. Even if it feels vulnerable, sharing your thoughts and emotions, whether big or small, is an important first step.

Don’t worry if you find it hard to put your feelings into words; your therapist is there to help guide you through the process. If you’re unsure about anything, whether it’s the therapist’s approach or the process itself, don’t hesitate to ask questions.

Over time, as trust and comfort grow, you may find it easier to talk about deeper issues, but there’s no rush. Therapy is a process, and it’s okay to take your time. Your therapist is there to support you, and the more you engage with them, the more you’ll get out of the experience.

You can talk to your therapist about anything that’s on your mind. Therapy is your space, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” topic to bring up. Some people come to therapy with a specific problem, while others just know they’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed and want support figuring things out.

Common topics people talk about in therapy include:

• Stress from school, work, or life responsibilities
• Anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns
• Family conflicts or relationship challenges
• Friendships, dating, or breakups
• Identity questions, including gender, sexuality, or cultural identity
• Coping with trauma, grief, or difficult experiences
• Feeling lost, unmotivated, or unsure about the future
• Building confidence and self-esteem

Sometimes it can also help to talk about everyday things that affect how you feel. If you’re not sure what to say at first, that’s completely okay. Many people start therapy by simply saying something like:

• “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately.”
• “I’m not sure why, but I’ve been feeling down.”
• “I don’t really know where to start.”

Your therapist will help guide the conversation and ask questions that make it easier to talk about what you’re experiencing. Over time, as you feel more comfortable, you may find it easier to explore deeper thoughts and feelings.

One thing to remember about therapy is that you get out of it what you put into it. Dedication to your own healing will help you realize the changes you want to see.

The relationship between you and your therapist matters a great deal: it helps to work as a team. Good therapists guide, support, and challenge you. It’s normal to disagree at times, and important to share feelings or concerns you have about how therapy is going for you.

Other factors that will help you get the most out of therapy include:

• Remembering that therapy is designed to equip you with long-term solutions, it’s not a quick fix!
• Putting in the effort to show up and be present for your sessions.
• Having the courage to look at yourself honestly.
• Being willing to make difficult changes in your life.

Much about going to therapy is similar to going to counselling. Though sessions and relationships differ, there are some factors that remain the same.

Read this blog for more information How to Know if your Therapist is a Good Match.