How to Build a Relationship with Yourself

We are the only person who spends 24/7 with us! Learning how to love ourselves and enjoy our own company is a process. Self love is a long game, remember to take it slow and accept help along the way!

Start small when it comes to a healthy relationship with yourself. You already know your insecure/sore spots; when you find yourself going to that place mentally, catch yourself & reframe your thoughts. Begin with one thing you like about yourself & expand from there.

Exploring who you are is fun and when we understand ourselves better, it helps us appreciate our unique nature. Check out this Personality Test, from 16 personalities.com, to find out more about yourself! Share with friends and enjoy all the convo! 

Date yourself! Ask yourself what is something that you enjoy doing and then make a plan to do it! Enjoy doing what YOU want exactly how YOU like to do it! 

Every day take a look in the mirror and say something kind about yourself!

Flexible planning is a great way to honour your boundaries; you can make a plan AND be able to go with your flow. Some days we need more time, or are running behind. Communicate honestly about what you’re able to commit to. Be YOUR best friend first!

Do a social media detox! Who have you been wanting to unfollow? You don’t have to explain your feelings to anyone, follow your instinct. If someone we follow is causing us stress, making us feel bad about where we are in life, or any other reason: unfollow/delete!

If you’re on a journey with body image, we encourage you to check out books by empowering folks like Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body is Not an Apology, where she talks about radical self love and dissects fatphobia.

You may feel far from loving yourself, but sometimes it’s important to act like you do anyway. How might you feed yourself today if you loved yourself? Or if it’s easier, how would you feed someone else that you love? Can you try feeding yourself that way too? 

It can be hard in the hustle and bustle of today’s society, and yet it is so very important to show ourselves love by making time each day to do something that we enjoy or something that brings us comfort.

Feeling better about our own bodies can be helped by diversifying the bodies we’re exposed to on social media. Increase diversity on your feed by following people of varying sizes, ethnicities, abilities, etc.

Sometimes in order to say “yes” to ourselves we need to say “no” to others. Is there an area in your life that you could do some boundary setting as an act of self-compassion?

For some of us, loving our appearance may not feel like an attainable goal. This is why it’s so important that we place our value outside of our appearance, so that we can feel and express love towards ourselves regardless of how we look. We are more than our bodies!

The people that we spend our time and energy with can have an impact on how we view ourselves. One way to show yourself some love is to create boundaries (including a potential goodbye script) with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.

Being your own friend means being kind to yourself. Ask yourself, “how can I show myself kindness today?” It’s okay to start small, loving yourself takes time.

Good friends respect your boundaries so you should respect yours too! Take note of your mental, emotional and/or physical limits and how you can work towards protecting them in your day to day life.

You wouldn’t say that hurtful thing to a friend, so why are you saying it to yourself? Catch those harmful and negative thoughts you have and consider challenging them. Are they facts or are they actually feelings?

Hey, treat yourself! Buy yourself something you’ve been wanting or take yourself on a solo date. If you’re not able to spend money, think about what you could make or do with what you have. Give back to yourself, not only to boost your mood, but because you are worth it.

In the busyness of our lives we often neglect to listen to our own needs. Take a minute to pause. What do your mind, body, and soul need right now?

We all have something to offer to this world, so take time to celebrate your gifts. Write your strengths down so you can remind yourself of them on difficult days.

Do you know your love language? Take this quiz, on 5lovelanguages.com, and discover how you like to receive love. Once you learn your results, start showing yourself compassion through your primary love language(s)! 

Give yourself a hug today and take time to acknowledge and appreciate yourself. You deserve it.

Learning what upsets you, makes you smile and centers you, can help you better understand yourself. When you see and know who you are, you can treat yourself in ways that are right for you.

Think about the things you do for the people you care about, write them down and do some for yourself. 

We’re often so hard on ourselves – when you find yourself in that position, take a step back and think about how you would support someone experiencing the same thing.

Learning to love yourself takes time. Be patient and don’t give up. You deserve all the love in the world.

Saying to yourself “It’s okay, you tried your best,” is a great first step towards showing yourself compassion, especially when you’ve experienced a failure.

Make a list of things that you consider to make up a healthy relationship. Try to incorporate those things as you work towards building one with yourself.