How to Talk to a Counsellor About Mental Health

Getting help for your mental health often begins with a conversation, and one of the most supportive ways to start is by talking to a counsellor. A counsellor provides a safe and confidential space to talk through what you’re experiencing without judgment. You don’t need to have everything figured out before you go. Simply showing up and sharing what feels difficult is enough to begin.  

This blog explores what you can expect from counselling, how to know if a counsellor is the right fit, and how counselling differs from other relationships. Whether you’re dealing with stress, relationship issues, or simply feeling overwhelmed, speaking with a counsellor can help you. 

What will the First Visit with a Counsellor Be Like? 

On the first counselling appointment, counsellors do their best to help you feel comfortable, and to gather as much important information as possible. You’ll probably be asked quite a few personal questions, so just answer honestly, and feel free to ask some questions yourself. This session is your chance to ask questions about privacy, what your parents can know, and how your info is shared. 

You may also be asked to fill out forms in order to help assess your needs, concerns and overall situation. These are often called “intake” forms, and they are standard across many practices. They include questions like this: 

• What made you come here today? 
• How long have you been feeling this? What seems to have started this problem? 
• What seems to help? 

Asking yourself these questions in advance can help you mentally prepare for talking about your problem or background. If you’re feeling nervous or don’t know what to say, it can help to write down a few notes before your appointment. 

What to Expect from Counselling 

Sharing Information and Setting Boundaries 

At the beginning of counselling, your counsellor will explain key details such as your rights, confidentiality, and what you can expect from the process. This may include how your information is shared, the counsellor’s training and approach, session limits, costs if applicable, and the goals of the service. They will also outline situations where counselling may end and your right to access your records. If medication is involved, you may also receive information about its use and possible side effects. 

Support for You to Understand the Treatment Information 

There will be ample opportunities to ask questions about any part of your counselling treatment, including clarification about anything you do not understand or remember. 

• Some counsellors will provide you with printouts or diagrams of ideas that matter to you. If you need to take notes, jot down thoughts, or take-home handouts with the information provided, simply say so. Most medications come with info sheets from the pharmacy. All of these are a good back up. 
• The opportunity to bring a friend if you find you have trouble remembering everything you are told or just need additional support. 

Support Between Sessions 

Counselling often includes planning for support outside of appointments. This might involve creating a list of topics to discuss, developing coping strategies, or building a safety plan for times when your counsellor isn’t available. You may also be guided toward helpful community or online resources to support you between sessions. 

Understanding the Counselling Agreement 

The counselling relationship is a partnership between you and a professional dedicated to giving you the skills, the knowledge and the resources to allow you to get unstuck or for you to get control of your life. This partnership allows you to take advantage of everything the counsellor knows to help you improve your situation. It is based on a shared agreement, a decision made by you and your counsellor to focus on your personal goals and overall wellbeing. Every counsellor explains this shared agreement in different ways, but it often includes the intention to: 

Be Present 

Put bluntly, when you sign up for counselling, you are making a commitment to work on your stuff. This means that you will, at minimum, show up to every session scheduled for you. If you can do nothing more than sit at your counsellor’s office, that’s ok. In turn, your counsellor will be present and dedicated to you for the duration of your session. 

Share What You’re Comfortable With 

Together, you’ll be working to understand what’s going on, and to find ways for change to occur. Your counsellor will need to hear about your life from you and can only work with what you tell them. So, share as much as you feel comfortable with. If you don’t know where to get started, say so. In turn, your counsellor will give you clear information about how she/he can help. 

Remain Respectful 

Mutual respect is essential. You and your counsellor will work together towards your well-being. In doing so, you both agree to respect each other, your goals and yourselves. Respect will also include honouring confidentiality and patient rights.  

How Does Counselling Differ from Other Relationships? 

Contrary to what many people think, the counselling relationship is not about getting advice. Instead, your counsellor will help to: 

• Make the time and space to figure out what’s happening. 
• Question the way you look at things, the way you behave or react to situations or people. 
• Develop new strategies for dealing with your situation. 

Counsellors do this by getting to know you, developing an understanding of your circumstances, listening to what you have to say, and by offering support and insight. That’s their job. 

Talking to a Counsellor vs. Friends or Family 

The counselling relationship is not like talking to a friend or parent. Counsellors aren’t like friends or family, they’re trained pros who listen, support you, and keep things private. 

It won’t be like sharing your feelings with a parent or a friend or a brother or sister. You know these people and they know you. They know about your past, whether you’re a morning person or what you like to eat. They might know about your dreams and who you love. And they will be there for you in the years to come. You know enough about them, to know who you can talk to and who you can trust. Of course, you can’t always be sure that some of them won’t tell others about your personal problems or mental health struggles. But they will be there to celebrate your successes, like graduation or landing the dream job or the wedding. They may also be there for you at 4 a.m. when you are feeling lost or scared or depressed. 

It’s true that sometimes counselling can feel cold or impersonal. You’re expected to bare your soul to someone who apparently has no first name, no life and no personality beyond their job. The problem here is not the counsellor: it is the nature of the counselling relationship. The counselling relationship is just not like any other and it doesn’t follow any of the normal patterns. For a lot of people, talking to a professional counsellor feels easier because there’s less pressure to impress or please anyone. 

What If I Don’t Like My Counsellor? 

Remember, you may not like the first person you meet, but that doesn’t mean counselling is a lost cause.  It’s common for people to go to several sessions before they feel they can trust or like the counselling professional they’re seeing. 

Each counsellor will have his or her own style, approach and personality. If you’re sure you do not have a good connection with this person, ask to see someone else. If you can, make yourself a list of what worked and did not work with the previous counsellor. Be frank. This list will help you and others find someone who is a better fit for you. 

The Importance of Talking to a Counsellor 

Talking to a counsellor can be an important step in taking care of your mental health because it gives you a safe, supportive space to express what you’re going through. Many people find it difficult to talk openly with friends or family, especially when emotions feel confusing or overwhelming. A counsellor provides a neutral, trained perspective and can help you make sense of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.