Using the R.A.I.N. Technique: Part 2 of the Happiness Lab Podcast Series

This week’s podcast – Reconnect with the Moment – hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos and guest starring Tara Brach, a psychologist, meditation teacher, and author, continued the conversation from the previous podcast around self-compassion. They challenged the grand New Years resolutions that we have, questioning whether they will make us as happy as we think they will. In this podcast, they explore a new tool you can use to further your self-compassion practice. 

What I learned this week:

In a study done by Harvard University, they discovered that 50% of the time our minds are wandering. 

• We are fixated on what could go wrong with us, and in some way we are worrying, planning, and strategizing to avoid trouble.
• We are living most of our moments in thoughts about life, rather than directly connecting to the emotions we are experiencing.
• As a result, we miss out on what is happening in the present moment.

Suffering = separation.

• When we suffer, we are more likely to isolate ourselves from others.

We fall into several thought trances and the most pervasive one is the trance of unworthiness. 

• Since we tend to not like ourselves, we tell ourselves a lot of stories of what’s wrong with us.
  – This has a profound impact on how we behave.
• In this trance, we avoid feelings with addictive behaviours. 
• When we consistently follow this trance, we are more likely to be afraid of intimacy and it becomes hard for us to take risks because we are afraid we’ll fall short.

How you can continue practicing self-compassion: 

Incorporate this quick and simple practice into your life called R.A.I.N.: 

Recognize
Allow
Investigate 
Nurture

R.A.I.N. incorporates both mindfulness and compassion. It gives you an easy to follow checklist and over time, it becomes quicker and more accessible to use.

How to use R.A.I.N.:

Recognize

• Take a moment to pause.
• Recognize what feeling is most predominant.
• It can be helpful to mentally whisper what you’re noticing.

Allow

• Instead of judging yourself for what you are feeling or trying to fix your emotions, let your emotions be there, let the experience be as it is.

Investigate

• Notice how the emotions you are experiencing reside in your body.

Nurture

• Place your hand over your heart.
• Send a kind message to yourself.

After using R.A.I.N.: 

• “Blossoming” comes afterwards.
• You can sense a shift in how you’re feeling.
  – This shift, whether big or small, is in the direction of spaciousness, open-heartedness, and clarity.

Benefits of using this technique:

• It allows us to pause and turn the attention back to what’s going on inside of us.
• We then have more awareness and choice in our lives.
• R.A.I.N. aligns us with what matters.
• We are more likely to trust ourselves more, to like ourselves more, and to look at people using a less-judgmental lens.

Other strategies to consider: 

• Look back at the last few hours, where were you? Were you in a trance of thinking? How many moments did you actually feel your breath? Or feel the air on your skin or hear the sounds around you? How many moments were you actually present in?
• Pause, come into the moment, directly connect with the vulnerability, and do some of the healing that frees you.
• Stop and ask yourself, what are you unwilling to feel?

Interested in reading more about these podcasts? Follow my blog series! You can also check out the podcast for yourself through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more!