I open the recipe book and search for the ingredients for family.
The passed down pages, ear-marked and cherished; there it is:
Start with a large mixing bowl with a layer of acceptance, security, and trust as the base.
Add two tablespoons of self-love with a matching dash of compassion,
four cups of endless patience (if you don’t have endless, boundless will do).
Next, one and a half cups of fun and laughter will give you a frothy start,
stir in some support, like roots, like wings.
Now, the most important addition: a bucket of love.
You may think a bucket is too much, but trust me on this one.
Knead it until it is like a knot, an unbreakable mountain.
Put in a pinch of persistent cuddles.
Tabasco is optional, but in my opinion every family needs a little bit of spice.
Tilt the bowl as you stir, make the ingredients lean on each other,
it will make them stronger.
Finally, sprinkle on some okra, a binding agent that holds the whole thing together.
Bake at three hundred and sixty degrees, for life.
Take a peek as it cooks.
You may see your ingredients have risen to look like a family sitting together,
a delicious meal spread across the kitchen table.
If you glance earlier on, it might appear as a young couple
moving into a home they plan to raise their children in,
listening to the walls and each other from the heart.
You should see lots of laughter and joy,
filling the air like the sound of trees when they are hugged
or a pet sleeping at your feet.
Don’t be nervous if your family doesn’t look like your neighbours’.
These portraits look different each time because of unique binding,
don’t worry if your masterpiece spills over the side
with some yelling and crying, struggle or strife,
it will make old comfort more delicious when you taste it,
now taste it.
Share it with a friend.
Lastly, be open and creative to add to the equation
if it isn’t perfect to your heart.
Remember this recipe is a work of art.
* Poem created by Holly Painter with audience participation at Family Service Thames Valley’s 75th anniversary breakfast fundraising event, November 4th, 2015.
© Holly Painter 2015