Sometimes noises (be it traffic, sirens, people, crowds, etc.) can be overwhelming, over-stimulating and triggering). I can be walking along, minding my own business and then I overhear a guy talking on his cell phone, saying, “I can’t believe she did that!” and boom! I internalize it. That person is talking about me. Now, this, of course, is not true, but try and tell that to my paranoid brain whilst in the thick of it. Now imagine every other person walking down the street, on their phones and you think, “Oh my god, they are all talking about me!” Well, who wouldn’t want to ever leave their home, right?
Being paranoid about other people and their intentions can be very paralyzing. And threatening.
I’ve found a few tricks along the way that can help alleviate some of the anxieties associated with paranoid thinking. Now, they don’t always make the paranoia fully go away, but it can make the difference between being holed up in your home or going out.
1. Headphones. Ear buds with music, audiobooks or podcasts can help drown out the external world around you. If you find you start internalizing the lyrics or the talking heads, opt for classical music. You can also find some free guided meditations online that will help navigate you to a calmer state. Whichever technique you use – just make sure to keep it at a reasonable volume so you don’t fully drown out your surroundings (like crossing a busy street!).
2. Focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply from your gut, slowly and purposefully. I find I’m usually holding my breath without even realizing I’m doing it and then I take in a huge amount of air and think, “Oh, right. Oxygen.” Counting your in and out breaths can also help.
3. Holding a penny, rock, squeeze ball. That frenetic energy sometimes needs a place to be expended but you don’t want to make it too obvious that you are feeling anxious. What I like to do is hold something in my pocket and squeeze that object which redirects my focus.
4. Self-talk. Sometimes a mantra can help lessen anxieties associated with paranoia. “I am not in danger”or “Deep breaths” or even giving yourself permission to go back home can help. You are not a failure if you turn around and go back inside. Try again later. The worst thing to do is negative self-talk (which I can be completely guilty of). Talk to yourself as you would a child (unless you find that condescending!) Find a word, a phrase that is gentle and forgiving and go with it. There is no shame in self-talk if it works for you! You may find it silly at first but, with practice, you’ll find what you respond to best.
4. Calling someone. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Drowning out people can sometimes take a lot of work but having a friend to chat with can help distract you. I have about three to five people I can call at random and be honest and say, “I’m outside and I’m getting paranoid” and they’ll typically talk me down from having a full blown panic attack. Letting people in that know about your condition can really help save you when you feel overwhelmed. You don’t have to rhyme off your symptoms – you can even just ask them to say something funny. Paranoia is not fun but sometimes a funny joke can help distract you from obsessing over your fears.
5. Challenge your paranoia. If I find myself heading into the throes of an anxiety attack, I will metaphorically puff out my chest and think, “Bring it on!” or “What’s the worst that could happen?” By challenging your thoughts and asking, ‘So what?’, it gives you a chance to problem solve your way to a calmer state. “What if that person was talking to me?” you question “So what if they were?” you retort. It may feel like a game of mental tennis but at least you will be trying to outwit, outsmart, outplay those in-the-moment worries.