Just recently I’ve accepted part of myself. I’ve finally become comfortable with things I’ve denied before. Recently I’ve decided to do things that make me happy. I’ve decided not to be a pushover, and not just to do things because society or my friends or family think I should, but because I want to do them.
I’ve decided to sleep in when I could get up, and to stay up late and write when I really should be sleeping. I’ve decided I’m not going to drink or do pot to escape feelings like a lot of my friends and parents do, and to avoid them when I’m upset. But, I’ve also decided that it’s okay to do them sometimes and not to get angry at myself when I do them. I’ve decided to spend money although I’m not working yet, and people say I shouldn’t. I’ve bought a shirt because I liked it, not because I thought I needed it. I’ve decided I am going to learn how to learn the guitar. I’ve applied for jobs, and turned down interviews for jobs I knew I’d hate… because I know money isn’t going to make me happy.
Recently I’ve said hi to people I didn’t know and smiled at people walking down the street. I’ve become a little forgetful and dropped my sweater on the ground walking home and didn’t go back to get it right away. When I did go back it was gone, and I was okay with that and thought someone must have needed it more then me. I’ve lost my wallet without even realizing it and someone returned it a few minutes after I arrived home. Recently my outlook has changed a bit. I guess you could say I’ve stepped out of the shade and back into the sun. I really like this place I’m in and never want to leave. I know at somepoint I will have to go and deal with things for a little while, but just recently I’ve realized that all I need to do to get back here is take a few steps from shade to the sun.