We are, all of us, amazing at avoiding things.
Our minds are less “thinking machines” than they are “avoiding machines.” And the incredible thing is that we aren’t even usually aware that we’re avoiding thinking about something.
Stephen P. Lewis, PhD is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Guelph. His areas of expertise are self-injury and youth mental health.
As a kid growing up in a small and tight knit family, I thought I had it all. I was a happy go lucky kid, always exploring and trying new things. School was always fun and I was known as the 'happy kid' all throughout primary school. I was not expecting the transition between primary and middle school to be so difficult.
I've become very accustomed to being hard on myself. It’s a blessing and a curse; self-criticism pushes us to work harder, do better---but it can also become toxic. How many times have you gotten inspired to create something, perhaps a poem, song, picture, or even a school assignment, only to find yourself giving up before giving it the real shot it deserves? As someone with a very active imagination, I've had a certain problem. In my head, I imagine the project I could create and I see it in a perfect, aggrandized way--- I see its full potential.
Oh sweet solitude! Shelter from social strife,
You have burned me and shamed me into ruined life.
I cast aside your shackles and step into the light.
This anxiety I will tackle, I'm ready for the fight.
Oh warm depression! The only comfort I have known.
You have since chilled me, down to the very bone.
I shake off your gentle slumber and rise from your bed
‘Cause sooner or later you’d leave me for dead.
"The most important thing about recovery is to pass the message on." - Maurice Gibb
Hey guys I wanna tell you about what I was going through.
Well, I've been down this travelled road,
I've wandered left and right.
Well, now I leave the trail blazin'
Cuz I've lit that fire inside.
And I'm on the search for something real,
Something I can feel.
Something I can hold on to believe in.
And this air I breathe, given as a gift for me indeed.
So I inhale it deep,
My life was good and I was happy. I had a great wife, had recently bought a house in San Fransico, had a good job with the dream of becoming an entrepreneur one day and a great circle of family and friends.
All of that changed over the course of few months and I began to lose absolutely everything I had. I almost died, I decided that my life was not worth living and had occasional thoughts of ending my life.
I recently got into a new relationship and were constantly cuddling, but because of the warm weather I've been wearing shorts. I know this doesn't sound like a huge problem but to someone who used to self harm all over her thighs this was a huge worry!! I didn't want him to see my scars and think differently of me. We were sitting eating lunch and he put his hand right on top of my scars, my heart started beating out of my chest and my breath started to hitch.