behaviour

Coping with Self-Criticism in Creative Work

I've become very accustomed to being hard on myself. It’s a blessing and a curse; self-criticism pushes us to work harder, do better---but it can also become toxic. How many times have you gotten inspired to create something, perhaps a poem, song, picture, or even a school assignment, only to find yourself giving up before giving it the real shot it deserves? As someone with a very active imagination, I've had a certain problem. In my head, I imagine the project I could create and I see it in a perfect, aggrandized way--- I see its full potential.

Road to Recovery

Oh sweet solitude! Shelter from social strife,
You have burned me and shamed me into ruined life.
I cast aside your shackles and step into the light.
This anxiety I will tackle, I'm ready for the fight.

Oh warm depression! The only comfort I have known.
You have since chilled me, down to the very bone.
I shake off your gentle slumber and rise from your bed
‘Cause sooner or later you’d leave me for dead.

A song called "Welcome"

     Well, I've been down this travelled road,
     I've wandered left and right.
     Well, now I leave the trail blazin'
     Cuz I've lit that fire inside.

     And I'm on the search for something real,
     Something I can feel.
     Something I can hold on to believe in.

     And this air I breathe, given as a gift for me indeed.
     So I inhale it deep,

Happiness is when … what you think , what you say and what you do are in Harmony

My life was good and I was happy. I had a great wife, had recently bought a house in San Fransico, had a good job with the dream of becoming an entrepreneur one day and a great circle of family and friends.

All of that changed over the course of few months and I began to lose absolutely everything I had. I almost died, I decided that my life was not worth living and had occasional thoughts of ending my life.

Stop focusing on the past and focus on the future

I recently got into a new relationship and were constantly cuddling, but because of the warm weather I've been wearing shorts. I know this doesn't sound like a huge problem but to someone who used to self harm all over her thighs this was a huge worry!!  I didn't want him to see my scars and think differently of me. We were sitting eating lunch and he put his hand right on top of my scars, my heart started beating out of my chest and my breath started to hitch.

This is real life, and mental illness is a real thing.

12.30.14: The date I met my boyfriend for the first time (I’m not going to use his name for privacy reasons so every time I refer to “him” it’s my boyfriend): It’s safe to say that I am head over heels, crazy in love with this guy. I know a lot of people are going to judge me for this post because I just got the date we met tattooed on me and we have only known each other for less than a year. But before you judge, you should know how much of an impact this guy as made on my life.

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