Drugs Are

Freedom from fear
Drugs help you see things in different ways
Drugs enhance creativity


Drugs are one big cop-out to what real life should be

So why am I still high?

Jeff Cheng of Mind Right is a nurse consultant providing child welfare with expertise on psychotropic medication and mental health. What does mental health mean to me? Mental health is just as important as breathing and eating. We need to talk more mental health. 

Mom Took Me to See

my psychiatrist, Doctor Cruz, and he bumped up the doses of my antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

I know this is all for the good, but why do I feel that it’s a setback? Shouldn’t the doses be getting lower?

After all, I’m getting better, right?

Get Off Me

I keep telling them but they just won’t leave me alone. Ugly faces attack my analogue visual audio. Assaulting my precious senses to POINT BREAK and Keanu is not around to save me.

Overwhelmed to shit!

So I called the Crisis Hotline and they helped me with a plan.

Distract the Senses

The Gods of This Day

This morning my son Seth woke up, gave me my morning hug, and then I told him that he and I are gods.

We’re the Gods of This Day, and we have the power to make today one of the most amazing days ever.

My Rabbit Hole

You’re the opposite of a guardian angel.
You are the reverse of rose-coloured glasses or an encouraging whisper or a smile from a friend.
You’re the mud on my shoulders that keeps my eyes to the ground watching for cracks.
You make me hide. You make me cry.
You make me have hate in my heart.
For you. For others. For myself.
You make me lose myself down a rabbit hole of “you can’t”,
“you hate” and “of course you would”.
You make me count.
You make me hold my breath.
You make me clench my fists.
You make my skin burn.


Julie Andrews sung the lyrics, “Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start…” but, for the purposes of this abridged autobiography, it isn’t a good place to start. I’ll start 34 years into my life, then I’ll jump to now and then I’ll go back to 1966.

7 February 2001: