“A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.” - dictionary.com
So what does this mean exactly? I could go through and tell you in great detail what this means, but it would read like a textbook article, and quite frankly I don’t really like reading about what I’m going through in a text book. I am me, myself, not some number, not some statistic.
At six years old, I told my dad that I felt as if I was always standing on the outside looking in at everyone through a window. I saw and felt differently. My views were “distorted” that’s when we realized that I was depressed. At seven my parents split up, I was so upset that I smashed my head against a wall, that’s when I first realized that pain helped to take away intense emotion. Later I would cut, burn, smash, and starve myself.
this is basically the story of how music has saved me from, well, me. so here ya go, hope you like it.
My name is Matt. I am 18 years old and will be graduating from high school this upcoming June. To know me truly, you must know what runs through my mind. I consider myself unique. Im pessimistic at times, but ultimately I have no fears. I fought a rigorous battle with depression for years. These inner struggles have lowered my self-esteem and made me very self-conscience. However, today I am a much different, optimistic person. This is my story.
As someone who suffers from several issues… It is REALLY annoying to be treated like someone who is going to BREAKDOWN if you say something around or to them. It is important to treat the person normally. Think about this… a person who is “different” just wants to be treated fairly and the same as everyone else… but if need be… accommodated and given a hand by the ones they love.
These are my words…and these are my feelings. Don’t tiptoe around me… I know that it may be hard. YES I get angry… YES I get sad… YES I get stressed…
and it may be hard to watch…
I write this in the hope that it will ease some of my own pain and grief and to you who reads it; I hope this touches a part of your life as well.If it helps I will consider this a job well done. I believe that we all face trials in our lives and that the answer lies in not just completing the trial but more importantly in how you conduct yourself as you’re walking through it. We all face heart breaks and sorrow in our lives, we all go through a period when it seems like hope has deserted us and give up on life. We want to scream and cry and close our eyes but we walk this road together.
Like most people, I loathed the town I grew up in when I was 16 years old. It was small, secluded and extremely boring to the average teenager. It also allowed for very little freedom in what you did, having some strange power to relay info back to your parents via some citywide conspiracy. In any case, I was a teenager, I was cooped up and angry, I was apparently Catholic (due to the high school uniform I was made to sport Monday to Friday) and I had absolutely no outlet for my teenage angst and aggression. My parents would monitor my music listening habits and omit (a.k.a.
it feels like i cant feel
it sounds like i cant speak
from the blood escaping my wrists
and the tears running down my cheeks
I lay down hopelessly
with the knife clenched in my hand
i wish someone only knew
i hoped someone would understand
Its hard to live
when you know your all alone
thinking no one cares
standing on your own
I needed someone to lean on
so i wouldn’t fall
but no one was there
so i fell and i crawled
I am a 27 year old female currently from California and I use painting as my outlet for depressive episodes, sometimes for suicidal episodes, and for when I get angry.
Simple Plan was recently lauded for their poignant portrayal of the devastating effects of drunk driving in their video, U