Fall back and leave me alone! I hate you all!
Fuck the doctors for certifying me when you don’t know who the
fuck I am!
Fuck staff for never having a straight answer and injecting me with poison!
Fuck the hospital for detaining me!
Fuck security and the nurses for putting me into seclusion and restraining me to a bed!
Fuck the police for tackling me and throwing me to the ground!
Fuck the Alberta Mental Health Act for shitting on my rights!
Imagine living in a state of constant fear and discomfort. You cannot sleep, or perhaps, you sleep too much at times when the nightmares are at bay. Memories plague you, even when you do not wish to think about them.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at age 22 but I'm certain I suffered from depression long before that. I experienced thoughts of suicide many times during my youth. By age 27, I had attempted suicide twice. One of the attempts landed me in a mental health unit in the hospital. Since I was just about to complete nursing school, I found the whole experience inspiring and interesting, from a nursing standpoint. Eight months later, I found myself working on that very unit, as well as two other mental health units, as a nurse.
I like learning about mental health, but very rarely see my situation represented. Not only was I diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in 2008 (which I don't think is very well represented when we talk about mental health), but I also have Cerebral Palsy, a physical disability. Although there are quite a few resources for people with disabilities, there are almost no resources for people with disabilities and mental health issues.