At six years old, I told my dad that I felt as if I was always standing on the outside looking in at everyone through a window. I saw and felt differently. My views were “distorted” that’s when we realized that I was depressed. At seven my parents split up, I was so upset that I smashed my head against a wall, that’s when I first realized that pain helped to take away intense emotion. Later I would cut, burn, smash, and starve myself.

Matt's Story

this is basically the story of how music has saved me from, well, me. so here ya go, hope you like it.

My name is Matt. I am 18 years old and will be graduating from high school this upcoming June. To know me truly, you must know what runs through my mind. I consider myself unique. Im pessimistic at times, but ultimately I have no fears. I fought a rigorous battle with depression for years. These inner struggles have lowered my self-esteem and made me very self-conscience. However, today I am a much different, optimistic person. This is my story.

The Transition

I guess to start off explaining myself I don’t really have fun with my hobbies until I accomplish something. I started playin hockey when I was 3 and came from a family who all played hockey. I had about 12 cousins who played as well and one who was travelling around the world in tournaments. I was raised to be the best and only the best. Even though I already had high expectations from people I didn’t let it bother me cause I knew what I was capable of.


I stare directly into the winter sun as my hazel eyes turn a bright shimmering green with faint speckles of orange and yellow surrounding my slowly dilating pupil.
I turn away for a second as my surroundings are covered with a florescent blue light. My focus to a strand of hair that dances in front of my left eye. A subtle burgundy color shines through the strand. I push it aside and continue to sing the verse from Tool as I stroll along through the snow-covered park in front of my house.

I am lost in concentration.